This Is The Finest Box Of Wine You Can Legally Purchase In Philadelphia
Are you there, God? It’s me, “Jocelyn.”
The culture of boxed wine is one of disappointment. There are three touchstones at this very moment that articulate how we feel about wine in a box: the ironic backpack of Franzia comes to mind, as does the party game “Slap the Bag” (which honestly sounds fun and, as it happens, very 2020, too). And then there’s the whole “momwine” pop-culture trope, which somehow manages to debase both motherhood and wine, which is like, thanks, we did not need that. Collectively, what all of these say is on the same message: Boxed wine is of low expectation.
A lot of this comes from the fact that boxed wine has lived until recently as, by nature, low-quality, bulk, what to buy when you’re expecting freeloaders (shout out to all the boxed wine at gallery openings and reading events). Even the “breakthrough” boxed wines of recent years, like your Bota Box, your Black Box, trade on not so much of the idea as being good as they do on the idea of being… not horrible.
On first glance, the Moncigale Selection Jocelyn Cambier Cotes du Rhone 2019 3L Box looks like an accident, a mistake, or at any rate something that maybe should not be on the shelf. It’s literally a plain white box with a distinctly un-designed label that looks like it was printed from your dad’s computer. But behold (and forgive me for the forthcoming totally-made-up winespeak): It’s the platonic ideal of a medium-bodied Cotes du Rhone, a Grenache/Syrah blend that goes with most things. It’s got a clarity, it sticks the landing, and more than anything else, it’s got poise. It’s elevating the conversation somehow. I don’t know how else to explain it.
This much I know, though: It’s the only boxed wine I’ve ever sought out, and when the temperatures dipped to 50 for the first time overnight this week, I went onto the Kafka-esque PLCB website and sought out the location of the nearest two boxes, and procured them immediately. This stuff also goes great with marathon listening sessions, chilly nights, and the whole autumnal let-the-world-go-away thing we all need to be doing a little of right now. And while I know that I’m blowing up my own spot by telling you about the greatness of my friend “Jocelyn” here, please, make no mistake, friend: This is the finest box of wine you can legally purchase in Philadelphia. If you see it, buy two. If this year has taught us anything, it is that you will need it.
