From The Department Of Menus: “Franch” Cuisine

Also missing from the menu: Snortable Jell-O and jarred pig fetus.

From the classic film "Better Off Dead"... with

List of items on offer at a special Friday night screening of 1980s slapstick classic Better Off Dead at La Peg, “expertly tailored [and] designed specifically for each film by executive chef Peter Woolsey.”

· grilled octopus
· franch fries
· franch dressing
· golden raisin puree
· brussels sprouts leaves

Sadly, there will be no “Van Halen Burgers,” which strikes us as strange. We were told everybody wants some.