Oh hello! Welcome to the first Philebrity Weekend Picks in more than five years! Back in the day, when we used to do these, I remember at a certain point this regular feature became problematic because — you will laugh to remember this — Philadelphia had become completely unbearable on the weekends. How innocent we were! Do you recall? The endless lamentations of how it was “amateur hour,” the bemoaning of the Center City Sips-ization of the whole of the city grid, the shaaaaaaaade! Well. It looks like we got our wish! All of these picks have been, and for the foreseeable future will be, chosen with social distancing in mind, and thus will also be (mostly) things that you can do in your underwear. Bearing that in mind, here we go!

FRIDAY:

One thing that we’ve found encouraging is that art, performance, DJ sets, and reading events have all continued apace — though it must be admitted, with varying results. There’s a handful of things going on tonight, though, that promise high quality, like:

Paradigm Gallery’s online opening of “Be Kind Rewind'' by Charles Clary, a show featuring more than 1,000 paper relief works by Clary, all done on VHS boxes that he’s collected over the years. Tonight, Paradigm will present them in their gallery space as both an online reception and artist-led tour.

Pig Iron Theatre is mounting a production of Toshiki Okada’s Zero Cost House, a play they commissioned and originally mounted in 2013, on Zoom. Actors in Philadelphia and New York will perform the play four times, live, from their homes on Friday and Saturday.

Meanwhile, Sortes, the tiny online Philly lit mag we mentioned on our last podcast, is presenting a reading event called An Evening of Sortes; and if you’re looking for some good online local DJ sets, Illvibe Collective have been crushing it lately on Twitch.

SATURDAY:

Happy Global Pride Day! To our LGBTQ+ readers and humanity in general, may you have nothing but the best today, and may you know the experience of Todrick Hall in your living room.

Likewise in things Pride, do check out A Gay Old Time, a very well-put-together show of Philly comedians. It’s hosted by the very funny Lindsay Boling, and benefits the LGBTQ Freedom Fund. A Zoom link will be provided for those who register via Venmo — see image above for details.

IT IS ALSO THE ROOTS PICNIC, ONLINE THIS YEAR, HOSTED BY MICHELLE OBAMA! I’m saying this very loudly in practice for the way I will introduce it in my house tomorrow while holding a can of boozy Arnold Palmer and getting stoked for the return of Musiq Soulchild.

This is all great and all, you say, but what about a thing that I can do where my body touches the outside air and I can walk around and stop the atrophy? Hey look: The West Philly Porch Art Show is back, and involves remedies for everything that ails you!

SUNDAY: 

Need a little more exercise? Hey, bike to Bartram’s Garden!

Have a Lamington.

Get down with jazz/samba legend Marcos Valle. I have listened to this entire program and I promise you, it is The Content You Need.

To submit an event for consideration for Weekend Picks, email your stuff to tips[at]philebrity.com. And of course, in these times, please consult Philly Protests for up-to-the-minute and vetted actions going on around the city.