We Asked AI To Show Us What Some Cool 1980s Philly People Looked Like And Welp, Here They Are

BY JOEY SWEENEY | What is AI for, exactly? Fuck if we know, man! And while we do know that it’s good for taking folks’ jobs away, apparently (but not really), we’re currently messing around to see if our hunch is true: Editorially, it’s more of a toy than it is a legitimate tool. So let’s start here: We love learning about the city’s history of cool people. And though it is not really Philly’s brand — when it comes to pop culture stuff like this, we’re far better known for our dickheads — the city has a deep legacy of cool that goes back at least as far as Billie Holiday gigging around town while Sister Rosetta Tharpe set up house here when she wasn’t on the road. 

Our point: Cool people have roamed this place for a while. And we’re especially obsessed with that era here. It’s why we follow this Faceboook page, it’s why we eBay old underground newspapers and zines from Philly, and it’s why we love Nancy Barile’s I’m Not Holding Your Coat, an excellent first-hand account of the punk and post-punk eras right here in Center City. 

But what does AI know about it? We asked, because we were stoned. Here’s what it showed us:

We loved this one. It looks like Maya Rudolph in front of the late, great Crimson Moon café.

Whoa! Big Ben Vaughn/Alan Vega/Alex Chilton vibes here. It’s not Ali Awan, but it’s not not Ali Awan. 

I get what the AI is trying to portray here: “Pill” having just had her/their face melted at the East Side Club. 

Behold, the first Stephen Starr employee. 

Our verdict overall: Pretty jive! Read Nancy’s book instead.