Well hello! It has been a moment since we gave you some GOOD MOTHERFUCKING NEWS! We felt like now might be a good time to do that! To wit:

1. The people in Philadelphia, they like the voting! A lot!

Folks are lining up outside City Hall to cast their votes early, IN THE DING DANG HUNDREDS! Better still, they’re doing it with good vibes that are not typically associated with either waiting in line, or… Philadelphians! But look: Someone raised you right! Keep it up, Philly!

2. And Larry Krasner is not gonna let Philly fall for the banana in the tailpipe!

MAGA jitbags (yes, I just said #MAGAJITBAGS) are already packing their awful potato-salad-with-Miracle-Whip lunches to screw with people at the polls. But the City is actively looking to prosecute any shenanigans! Put that number in your phone! You may have the chance to be a KAREN-FOR-GOOD-NOT-EVIL by CALLING KRAZ ON A CRUMB BUM!

3. Speaking of the polls, here’s some good info to keep handy from fuelthepolls.org.

Working as fuelthepolls.org, a bunch of Philly restaurants are banding together to provide free lunch to poll workers on Election Day, as well as get good clean info out there on voting in Philly in general. Have a look, make a plan, share! 

4. And finally, polls are weird but man these new PA numbers look good!

Perhaps the events of the day may make you feel some kind of way about even engaging with optimism. We all can understand that. But if we may, let us also say this: Believing in a better day is the only thing that will give you the goddamned guts to go out and demand it. So let’s be optimists, motherfuckers, and let us do the motherfucking shit that optimists do! Let us make this shit happen.

This has been your Good Motherfucking News. Tell someone about it.

So there you have it: Good people are still doing good things because WE ALL (MOST OF US) DESERVE GOOD THINGS! Have you got some good news to share? If so, send it to tips[at]philebrity[dot]com with “GOOD MOTHERFUCKING NEWS!” in the subject header — we’d love to hear about it.