BY JILLY MacDOWELL | For almost 10,000 years, goats have been "close to man because of [their] usefulness and hardiness," as per the definitive "Goats (Capra), from Ancient to Modern" by Merida Roets. "Characteristics that have been described in the same way among different cultures... as a symbol of fertility, abundance, aggression and good luck.”

Evidence shows goats were the first animals to be domesticated by humans. They were used for milk and meat by Neolithic man, reportedly first in the mountains of Iran.

Somewhere along the line, though, goats earned the reputation of trash-eating horndogs. “Thou damned and luxurious mountain goat!” from Shakespeare's Henry V was meant as a leveling insult. Goatishness was associated with lasciviousness — “luxurious” meant lecherous at the time.

The classic diss doesn't sting like it used to and, in truth, goats are "in the mood" about as regularly as most farm animals. (It may be the "golden showers" aspect of goat lovemaking that besmirched them these many years. But this is 2022, and we don't judge!)

What's really modern about goats is they can clear a hill of invasive weeds in a weekend. Imagine if weed-wacker noise pollution was replaced by barely perceptible goat munching. Heaven!

Enter the herd from the Philly Goat Project, who "love eating weeds and clearing brush around the city when they aren’t engaging with their human community," according to their official bio. The whole PGP crew — herd leader Ivy, Teddy (Pendergrass), Kyoshi (Kurimiya) alongside other Nubians and Nigerian Dwarfs — make regular appearances around town, including a Saturday series at area parks in August.

The goats, who live at the Farm at Awbury in Germantown, are also available for therapy as they read non-verbal cues and just generally radiate joy. The experts at PGP have trained the goats to "support skills that are functional, intuitive, and aligned with their natural abilities to play. Simply put, our goats love being with people."

On Wed 7/27, the goats are headed to Shakespeare Park (across from the main entrance and close to the Franklin Institute and Barnes Museum) for a kid-friendly event including a Goat Parade and a performance of their audience participation play, "The Philly Goats Gruff!" No tickets required, rain date is Fri 7/29.

Upcoming appearances at Nicetown Park (8/13), Mifflin Square (8/20) & Carroll Park (8/27); see phillygoatproject.com for rain dates.