In a video (which made us think, for some reason, of ISIS) and a press release (which we in good conscience could not finish reading), we learned that Guy Fieri is opening up two locations that serve (presumably) food in the Philly Live! (their exclamation mark, not ours) casino that is to be put in the Linc parking lot next year, because that is a good place to put a restaurant for slobs. “Philly’s always been a big time stop on the way to Flavortown!," said Fieri, whereupon we imagined him, late at night in his hotel room the night before the casino’s opening, his gaze wide-eyed in the bathroom mirror, covered in sweat, housing a bottle of Jack Daniels, saying over and over to himself:

“Philly’s always been a big time stop on the way to Flavortown! NO! SAY IT HAPPIER!"

“Philly’s always been a big time stop on the way to Flavortown! HAPPIER, SHITBIRD! SAY IT LIKE YOU JUST THOUGHT OF IT!"

“PHILLLLLLAYYYYY always been a BIG TIME stop on the way to Flavortown! “

And so on. 

“Guy is a first-class restaurateur and brings an exciting level of energy to everything he does,” the press release went on to say. Philly Live! will also feature offerings from Lorenzo and Sons Pizza, Sang Kee Noodle Bar & Kitchen and Termini Brothers Bakery.