BY JOEY SWEENEY | Property is theft, they say, and it's what I think about every time I hear that someone cool I once knew has now become a realtor, or walk through, say, Fishtown, or certainly, happen upon any one of Philly’s real estate blogs. I realize that not everyone has this take — even in myself I’m not sure if it’s an intellectual tick or an actual belief — but I do think it’s a healthy thing to look at Philly’s real estate community through at least a smidge of this type of jaundice. (Hey, a little jaundice every once in a while just reminds you that the rest of you is probably healthy.)

Because the facts are these: Philly is a city where it’s getting harder and harder to acquire a home without the aid of generational wealth, or some other third base you were lucky enough to be born on. And if you’ve chosen, whether you realize it or not, an anti-capitalist life path — such as working in the arts or education or non-profit sector — just looking at listings or local real estate news can be enough to sour your mood for the rest of the day. And generally speaking, the media outlets that cover real estate and development are seldom helpful in this regard.

With that in mind, let’s take a look at the current crop of Philly real estate blogs in order of the amount of existential dread they inspire. 

Not Dreadful: Rising Real Estate

Rising Real Estate is transparent in that it’s run by the realtor Kyle McShane, and with that, you definitely get the vibe that he’s ready to put you into a soulless gentrifier house by some of the enthusiastic, vaguely ChatGPT-ish prose here. Even so, he does seem to have a conscience, and if you’re a renderings nerd — and who isn’t — Rising has ‘em in abundance as well as a better research ethic than you’d expect. If this is your bag, they’re probably the most worth following on Instagram in this bunch.

Least Dreadful: Philadelphia YIMBY

If you have urbanist bros in your immediate social vicinity, you know that “YIMBY” — “Yes In My Backyard” —  is one of those terms that is often loaded, maybe even politicized. But on the face of it, Philly has been such a historically NIMBY city that the idea of an alternative still can feel refreshing: It just depends who yields it. In the case of Philadelphia YIMBY, that means “cover[ing] the region’s evolving architecture, construction, and real estate from a pro-growth perspective.” That feels sane, and so is the site’s overall editorial approach: It’s not breathless, it’s just the facts, and you never feel like you’re being sold something. 

Laughably Dreadful: Property (PhillyMag)

It’s pretty much a straight up infomercial, and very, very on-brand for Philly Mag. Actual sentence from a recent post: “Your Parisian friends, should you have any, will be quite impressed with your pan-European panache when they visit.” Like a lot of what plays in the pages of this magazine, you’re wishing it was satire.

Deeply Dreadful: Naked Philly

Naked Philly is the editorial arm of OCF Realty, the oufit run by controversial developer and alleged victim-of-anarchists Ori Feibush. It’s been around forever and it’s always been wack: The posts are uncredited (which matters if you care about vested interests/transparency) and upon loading the site, you’ve got either a chatbot or junior realtor pinging you to see if you wanna do business when really, all you’re there to do schadenfruede-ogle some sad divorced-guy apartments.