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A Half Dozen Things You And I Could Do If We Bought These Half Dozen Retired SEPTA Trolleys

Admit it: You want to buy them.

Regarding the matter of this Craigslist listing, current as of this writing:

1. Plop Them Down As Pop-Up Neighborhood Libraries & Writing Centers

Seriously, somebody gift these babies to Mighty Writers.

2. Under Cover Of Night, Arrange Them, Stonehenge-style, In A Secret Location In Fairmount Park

It is here where we shall summon the old gods and convince them to fix everything that’s wrong with Philadelphia.

3. Pull In A Couple Other Friends And Form Our Own Little Retirement Community On A Sweet Little Plot Of Land In, I Dunno, West Cape May

It’ll be like Stranger Things meets Cocoon.

4. Fill Them With Bedbug Eggs And Then Flip Them To Some Developer, Quick

You can kinda see these things rebranded with the OCF Coffee logo, be honest.

5. Find Some White Dudes To Open Up A Pho & Dumplings Fast Casual MicroChain Of “Trolley Cafés”

Just kidding! Fishtown already did this. Hiyoooooooooo.

6. Put 'Em In The Ground And Have Super Dope Reclaimed/"Tiny House" Bomb Shelters

Hey, even if there is no Doomsday, we'd probably get 'em written up on Apartment Therapy.