Dept. Of Etymology: New Plural Nouns for the Tribes of New Philadelphia
At massively attended events like the annual Italian Market Festival, we have found that our current system of plural nouns has often failed us. And so we've set about minting new ones.
A shrewdness of apes; an obstinancy of buffalo; holy cow, a business of ferrets. In olden times, plurals in nature were (are, for the time being) taken seriously, even by those far enough away from the action to sit in the caves on sunny days and come up with words. But a lot of good nature can do us now, where, in Philadelphia alone (and in increasingly gentrified cities all over the globe!), whole species of tribes make our sidewalks impassable, our errands unpleasant, our drinks longer in coming. Don’t worry, though, we’re still in the cave — here’s what we’ve come up with for some new plurals for the city animal:
A murder of basics
An entitlement of runners
A safari of douchebags (SEE ALSO: A “BROVERFLOW”)
A tote of activists
A skittle of wheelie kids
An ugh of Penn undergrads
A K-cup of co-workers
A wawa of panhandlers
A relish of hoagiemouths
We’ll update this list as new tribes unfold and as patience allows. Please do feel free to suggest your own.