“It’s not just the pitchers who will be throwing curves on opening day,” ran an AP item in April of 1971, announcing the arrival of what would come to be known as the Phillies’ “Hot Pants Patrol.” From ’71 through 1982, when feminist outcry quite rightly brought down the Hot Pants Patrol, female ushers at home games at Veterans Stadium were decked out in maroon micro-skirts, short shorts and white go-go boots. (The Phanatic came along in 1978; we don’t even wanna know what the relationship there must have been like.) In the pics above, you get a sense of what the uniforms were like, but as a gig back then, you’re going to have to use your imagination regarding how much it must have sucked. (Then again, maybe not.) If you think Philly’s loaded with slobs now, buddy, you shoulda been here in the ‘70s.