One might have well expected it: That the same hack national media that’s been repeating the “batteries at Santa Claus” urban legend for decades would find plenty to whine about when they arrived in Philadelphia, only to find… Philadelphia. Philadelphia, we say, where the unpleasantness of sporting events, Guns N’ Roses concerts and people from the suburbs are held at distant remove from the general populace! Philadelphia, where the subway is viewed as a utility and not a pleasantry! Philadelphia, where hell yes it’s hot in the summertime. 

But the media hasn’t quite seen it this way. And so, right now, as we speak, we’re showing them something else.

We are showing them, ladies and gentlemen, the motherfucking realness.

And on and on, like a cry to the heavens. Shine on, Philadelphia. For we are a people who are just, and right, and good.