And 'lo it came to pass that Philly Scary Killer Clowns were indeed not real, even the suggestion of them gave your shittier neighbors the chance to be awful, from Taking Our South Philly Streets Back (from whom, you cringe before asking) on up to Safer Streets For Fishtown. Perhaps the only people making lemonade here would be South Fellini, who celebrate the opening of their new store on Passyunk with this new/old timeless classic pictured above. Meanwhile:

You're welcome, Struggling Young Adult Novelist. You're welcome.