?uestlove Sneaker Debuts Today, Kind Of Looks Like Lizard Balls

If you could swivel the GoogleMap satellite view in your brain to the area on Walnut Street just above Ubiq this morning, you may or may not see sneaker geeks lined up to purchase the ?uestlove x Nike 1World Air Force 1, which debuts today. Going one better than even the Adidas that had Lorenzo’s on it, these dunks are a celebration of all things ?uesto, and by extension, ourselves. Hypebeast reports:

The shoe features a mixture of burgundy leather and red canvas with neon green elephant print. It has red shoelaces, a lasered silhouette of ?uestlove, and a golden Nike swoosh. ?uestlove proclaims these shoes to be “an extension of [his] personality” as he strives to make “a very loud statement, a sneaker that sort of has 12 exclamation points behind it.”

In other words, lizard balls. Saying.
Hypebeast: I Bet They Had To Get That Iguana Really Stoned To Get That ?uestlove Tattoo On Him

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Editor’s Note: Thanks, You’ve Been Great, Now Where’s My Coffee And More Pictures Of Spiderman?

Hey, it’s been a while since we’ve done one of these. We should start this way all the time on Monday mornings — you know, addressing the people, talking about the week ahead, maybe setting some clear, attainable goals for everyone? No? OK. Fair enough. But while we’re here, we would like to say thanks to all of our regular readers, friends, randoms and anybody else who sent in condolences, either via comment or email, regarding our friend Christopher Tucker. These last two weeks have been just a horrible time, and those missives not only meant a lot to us; they meant the world to his family and other close friends. And if you haven’t taken a gander at Tucker’s short story “Elf Pants,” by all means, do.
And also since we’ve got you here, let’s just run down what’s up with us these days: We’re looking for fall interns (bonus points if you write a letter like this to us). And of course, if you’ve got a tip, a funny cameraphone picture or some mysterious riddle of the city that you think only we can solve, send it all to tips[at]philebrity[dot]com. Of course, right? On the events front, we have some cool stuff coming up as well, most of which isn’t fully cooked yet, but keep an eye out for a Stereolab listening party before the month is out, the Philly debut of Glasvegas, some fun Phoodie.info stuff, and come fall, this year’s installment of The 215 Festival. Got all that? Good. Now let’s shred, brah.
ON THE PHILEBRITY HI-FI SYSTEM RIGHT NOW: Jeremy Jay, “Airwalker” 7″; Fleetwood Mac, Future House; Vin Scelsa’s Idiot’s Delight; any and all liquor drinks that contain the juice or essence of a cucumber; and the soundtrack from The Wackness.

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This Evening: Come to the Islands

>>>There’s a Fishtown twofer with the crew of Mambo Movers tonight. In case you, like cave-hidden Osama or active senior John McCain, have been out of touch for a long, long time, Mambo is well-known as the home of itinerant artsy/hip boys from our fair city, who will move you wherever for a surprisingly affordable price. From 5 to 8:30 Bambi Gallery gives you their visuals, possibly pit-stained, in a free preview for their show that technically opens tomorrow for First Friday. Then at 8 doors open over at Johnny Brenda’s for the musics, with Extraordinaires with Johnny Corndawg, The Sounds of Kaleidoscope, The Company Corvette, and Dog and Pony. Bambi Gallery: Free. Johnny Brenda’s: $10. Rawk Beards? Who can place a value on them? Some income from tonight’s gallery sales and the show are going to help out an injured Mover, so buy up. And yes, OK, they’re not from the islands, but not too much is going on and their name is Mambo and we had to find a way to make this post hang together.
>>>Miller Lite, known as the beverage of choice for marijuana lovers from Kingston to Amsterdam to Fishtown, is the presenter of tonight’s late Stephen Marley show at TLA. 11 pm, $35 (ouch), and Jr. Gong is gonna be there!

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More Sexy Singles Re-Imaginings: Could These Two Be Making Beautiful Music Together?

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Whoa, Nobody Expected This: Bon Jovi To Play At Free, Telecom-Sponsored Soul “Celebration”

PHILADELPHIA SOUL AND VIRGIN MOBILE USA ANNOUNCE FREE SOUL CELEBRATION FEATURING BON JOVI TO CELEBRATE AFL CHAMPIONSHIP SEASON

Philadelphia - (July 31, 2008) – Virgin Mobile USA and Bon Jovi will offer up some rock and soul with a free Soul Celebration featuring Bon Jovi as a follow up to the Philadelphia Soul’s Virgin Mobile ArenaBowl XXII championship. Virgin Mobile USA today announced that in celebration of the Soul’s ArenaBowl victory, the no-annual contract wireless company will be presenting a free, live Soul Celebration featuring Bon Jovi to be held at a time and place to be announced next week. The celebration is part of a broader partnership that Virgin Mobile USA and the Philadelphia Soul are finalizing to run throughout the 2009 season. The Philadelphia Soul and Virgin Mobile USA will work together to offer Soul fans and Virgin Mobile USA customers access into this exclusive event.

Previously: Arena Football Is To Real Football As “Procession” Is To “Parade”

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Next Up In The Sexy Singles Re-Imagination Project: Todd Herremans Likes To Party

Damn, Todd: It’s only Thursday. Relax, bro.

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Just So You Know: We Have An Intern In Here Today Doing Nothing But “Re-Imagining” Daily News’ Sexy Singles In Photoshop

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Phashionista: For Those About To Blogfrock, We Salute You

· We write about our pals at Grasshopper Project all the time, A) because they are sweet, glamorous ladies and B) because they have a great little store. But what we didn’t realize was that, when nobody was looking, they were secretly logging in on what is probably the most interesting fashion blog emanating from this region. Comespywithme.blogspot.com is Grasshopper’s online research/inspiration/idea board, and it’s a great glimpse into the minds of two of the city’s most astute golden-era-of-women’s-fashion devotees. [ComeSpyWithMe]
· Those kids at Freshmeltwater: Also no slouches on the phlog phront. Say hello to The Drip. [TheDrip215]
· And Wilbur Vintage in the Antiquarian Market has a blog, too, but most importantly, this Friday, they have a SALE! Yay! Click flyer to enlarge. [WilburVintage]

Got a fashion/retail tip for Phashionista? Let us know: tips[at]philebrity[dot]com. And read more Phashionista here.

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Attn.: Everybody. Stop Freaking Out.

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Noontime Nuggetz: Steven Ward James Has The Right Idea

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Arena Football Is To Real Football As “Procession” Is To “Parade”

Oh, right, we almost forgot, and then this happened! The Philadelphia Soul became the first people in Philadelphia to win anything since Ben Franklin stuck a feather in his hat and called it “Whoa, I’m bisexual, and here’s your motherfucking electricity!” SO CONGRATS, BOYS! But while you celebrate today, let’s not get ahead of ourselves here, OK?

A procession - police stress this is not a parade - will wend its way west in a motorcade from Sixth and Market Streets at 3 p.m. to Dilworth Plaza at 16th St. and JFK Boulevard.

Because you’re not real football players. You know how we know? A) You don’t whine like bitches, B) we’re giving you the benefit of the doubt and assuming you can read, and C) you do not fight pitbulls for sport or defend your teammates who do fight pitbulls for sport. Look on the bright side, though: You work for one of the hottest women in the entire arena football business.
Inky: We Can’t Do Ticker Tape, Would You Settle For This Box Of Foam Packing Peanuts?

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Steve Lopez Apparently The Only (Sort-Of) Philadelphian To Feel Effects Of SoCal Earthquake

We know you don’t care, but there was a 5.4 earthquake in Southern California on Tuesday that basically set the stage for California finally, gloriously falling into the ocean sometime in the next 30 years. KYW1060 rang up presumably the only Californian they know (and possibly the only living reminder of the time when the Inquirer was a paper that people actually read) Steve Lopez to see, you know, what that felt like. Steve! Please use your award-winning descriptive powers to describe this notable quake! Enrapture us please!

“It felt for a while like the building I was in might come down.”

Um? Dude?

“I had the willies, I have to admit, going to our parking garage to get my car and head out here.”

Sigh. Thanks. We’ll find out the rest of what we need to know via earthquake twitters.
KYW: I Can’t Hear What You’re Saying With All Of These Imaginary Typewriters Clacking Away Imaginary News Items Behind Me

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Readers Cameraphone: Rte. 15 SEPTA Trolley Now Offering Experimental Service To Park Slope

Its not in philly and I don’t know how it got there, but there is an old septa car on 4th ave, btw union and president in brooklyn. Its also visible on google streetview.

A little piece of philly just chillin in nyc.

Seeing something around town of note? Cameraphone it to: tips[at]philebrity[dot]com.

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Jiggaman Condos: Realer Every Day

No, seriously: The Jay-Z-backed L’Eau Condominiums in Northern Liberties? Not an urban myth! How many times do we have to tell you?

Casting an eye beyond the [New York] city, Dawanna Williams discovered the Northern Liberties section of Philadelphia, a kind of sixth-borough Dumbo [Ed.: Woof!] that has drawn artists to its warehouse conversions and new construction. With rapper/ producer Jay-Z as an investor, she is well underway constructing a 24-loft, eight-story condominium designed by the Philadelphia firm EM Architecture on a site with views of Ben Franklin Bridge and a block over from the 11-story American Lofts building designed by Winka Dubbeldam.

Ohhhhhh, brudder.
Architect’sNewspaper: So So Real

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This Evening: Pitfall!

>>> I’m not sure if we’re in the opening shots what could technically be called another heatwave or not; what I do know is that I have that last-week-of-high-school feeling that just makes me wanna pretend like I paying attention to the goings-on around me while, in reality, my brain — everyone’s brain — is melting and in that melting, it’s just going from one totally boss Steve Miller Band tune to another, swinging from vine to vine like that old video game “Pitfall.” In fact, if you opened up my brain right now, all you’d see is that dude at right, jumping over logs, swinging on vines, falling into tarpits made of resin. It is for this reason that, over the Old 97s at the Troc and Wolf Parade at the Electric Factory and Make A Rising at Johnny Brenda’s and whatever else, forces beyond my control say that going to Rock Tits DJ night at the P.O.P.E is the right-now move. It just is.

I’m sorry, was I saying something?

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What A Tumbled Web We Weave When We Perchance To Lose A Piece Of Our Weave

The backstreets of Philadelphia are littered with so much random detritus of the modern world that sometimes, it’s hard to tell what any of this shit even is. Like that thing over there — it might be a piece of some girl’s weave that came out during a late night girlfight. Then again, it might be pigeon feathers. And is that thing over there a piece of a Tonka toy? Oh nice, it’s actually a piece of a NEEDLE. But it’s the weaves that trouble us most, as they imply violence on the run. Scurry. Luckily, a group of urban anthropologists have banded together to bring you Urban Tumble Weave, which catalogs these de-contextualized, cast-off items and preserves them for future study. We’re particularly take with this one: Could be a piece of wheat, could be a squid, could be just another bad night out. And while we don’t imagine that Urban Tumble Weave will ever reunite a lost piece of weave with its original owner, it really is oh so nice to dream.
UrbanTumbleWeave: The (H)Air Down There

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Interoffice Chatter: We Believe The Children Are The Future, Unless It’s A False Positive, In Which Case, Phew!

So, we haven’t mentioned this, but we’re starting to look over applications for the fall intern posse. And well, there’s this:

Dear Philebrity,
This letter has been a long time coming. I’ve had to wrestle with so many conflicting emotions every time I tried to sit down at a keyboard and get it out. After weighing out the pros and cons over and over I’ve made my decision, and as you hold this in your hand it will become obvious how it went.

Philebrity, I think you are my father. I was adopted at a young age and grew up in Bethlehem, not far from here. My parents, the people who raised me, gave me a good life. I was never in want or felt a need to seek you out because I thought you could provide better for me. I love them, and the biggest block to my writing you has been how they would take it. We talked it through though, and all of us think this is for the best. For whatever reason, my mind will not rest until I just know.

I worked with various groups and agencies to try to track down my biological father. Your name has come up more often than any other. It seems to me we’d both just be lying to ourselves if we didn’t at least accept the possibility that it’s true, that you are my father.

Holy shit, he kind of does have Sweeney’s (red, squinty, barely functioning) eyes. More after the jump. (more…)

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Captain Freeshit: Win Tickets To The Download Festival!

Nothing quite says “August in Philly” like standing in the sun by the muddy banks of the Delaware, sweating all good sense away and burning your flesh straight crispy. And, nothing quite says “the ought years” like the way in which we started out utterly loathing The Killers to where we wound up blasting that “He doesn’t look a thing like Jeeeeeeeee-zusssss” at living room parties and shouting out EVERY LYRIC at the top of our lungs. (Day Street holllller!!!) All of this, of course, is contained within the Philadelphia edition of the Download Festival this Saturday at the Susq, brought to you by a full-on logo soup of corporate sponsors but having a pretty decent lineup anyway. Also in on the great rock ‘n’ roll swindle: Iggy & The Stooges, Man Man, The Duke Spirit, Louis XIV, Eli “Paperboy” Reed and a whole bunch of other bands we basically do not care about enough to type here. We’re pretty sure they’ve all been on Conan at least, though. And heyo, Your Captain, Your Captain has tickets. To enter to win, send an email to ihopeiwin[at]philebrity[dot]com with “YOU SIT THERE IN YOUR HEARTACHE/WAITING ON SOME BEAUTIFUL BOY TO/SAVE YOU FROM YOUR OLD WAY/YOU PLAY FORGIVENESS/WATCH IT NOW, HERE HE COME!” in the subject header. We will be using Larry Mendte Keystroke Technology to make sure you actually typed this and did not cut and paste. Cut-and-pasters will be summarily disqualified, and then given “writing” gigs at Phawker. Hiyo! It really was a great lunch.

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